Doubts and fears

It’s mid week Wednesday. Just a little more than a week to my Mega Escape: The Impalement Cage @ Clarke Quay. And to be honest, I feel a tad overwhelmed.

Doubts and fears… stress and worries… and dammit… I hate it that I’m still a bit inconsistent with my timing, especially with that damn combination lock in particular which is SO NOT MY FRIEND. Grah!!!!

Those of you who’ve read The New Paper interview would know that it’s the stubborn one that locks the heavy steel brace collar which is securely shackled around my neck. It’s completely different from the rest of the locks which you can pick, since combi-locks only open when you get the entire series dial combination correct. And you can only achieve that through feel. If you get it wrong at any point, you have to start from the start again. A real b*tch really, especially under a stressful time constraint of 90 seconds for everything!!!

Seriously, physical injuries like bruises and scrapes are a very natural process and my broken toe nails are growing back… but my biggest challenge now is truly my mental focus. I guess not everyone will understand this. But it’s crucial for this uncontrolled setting at Clarke Quay’s bustling and busy open fountain area… which totally isn’t in any way like an auditorium or theatre where everything from the lights, sound, seats, temperature, setting, etc can be completely constant because you have control panels for those things.

This is as real and gritty as it gets.

Sigh. I think I’m just really exhausted, both physically and mentally, after this long grueling day which saw me come home late after all that tough training and rehearsals.

I’m only human.

 

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “Doubts and fears

  1. Peter

    Jia You for your training! You can do it! All the best for your performance.

  2. Jaya

    hey cheer up! everything will be fine! you must have more confidence in yourself!

  3. Ronnie

    you gotta take it easy gal! take a break sometimes and forget the stress!

  4. Aaron

    sure isn’t easy being a magician..

  5. William

    jiayou!! hope everything turns out right.

  6. Jenny

    oh dear, looks like the pressure on you is really great. do take care..

  7. Jermarcus

    Try go and listen to the music you like or read a book to destress during these time. It sure helps to know how o recharge urself

  8. Crysis

    You are too hard on yourself. i agree with what Jermarcus said, u should go and recharge yourself by doing the thing you like. You will perform better that way.

  9. Ming Hui

    Look, you got so many people here supporting you! You will be alright. Take care.

  10. Jack

    yea, u’ll do fine!

  11. Ben

    Being a magician is also not easy. Mentally and physically challenging for a female magician. Hope you are doing alright.

  12. derrick

    I’ll be there for you. We will all be here for you

  13. admin

    Thanks for the kind words everybody, I really appreciate it SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! 🙂 I guess I just have my moments of weakness and doubts because I’m only human. But it’s people like you who give me inspiration and the drive to go on.

    HUGS!!!!

    xxxooo
    Ning

    PS: Please don’t be afraid to say HI at my Mega Escape: The Impalement Cage @ 5 July, 9PM. It’s free admission at Clarke Quay’s fountain stage so do try to come early to grab a good vantage point! 😉

  14. Aaron

    will you go around and shake hands? 😉

  15. Jack

    jiayou wor!!

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