It’s mid week Wednesday. Just a little more than a week to my Mega Escape: The Impalement Cage @ Clarke Quay. And to be honest, I feel a tad overwhelmed.
Doubts and fears… stress and worries… and dammit… I hate it that I’m still a bit inconsistent with my timing, especially with that damn combination lock in particular which is SO NOT MY FRIEND. Grah!!!!
Those of you who’ve read The New Paper interview would know that it’s the stubborn one that locks the heavy steel brace collar which is securely shackled around my neck. It’s completely different from the rest of the locks which you can pick, since combi-locks only open when you get the entire series dial combination correct. And you can only achieve that through feel. If you get it wrong at any point, you have to start from the start again. A real b*tch really, especially under a stressful time constraint of 90 seconds for everything!!!
Seriously, physical injuries like bruises and scrapes are a very natural process and my broken toe nails are growing back… but my biggest challenge now is truly my mental focus. I guess not everyone will understand this. But it’s crucial for this uncontrolled setting at Clarke Quay’s bustling and busy open fountain area… which totally isn’t in any way like an auditorium or theatre where everything from the lights, sound, seats, temperature, setting, etc can be completely constant because you have control panels for those things.
This is as real and gritty as it gets.
Sigh. I think I’m just really exhausted, both physically and mentally, after this long grueling day which saw me come home late after all that tough training and rehearsals.
I’m only human.