Nat’s HEN NITE with the Queenies!!!

IT’S EXACTLY ONE WEEK TO THE WEDDING!!!! Tonight saw us Queenies throw our darling Madame Bournaparte a Hen Nite she’ll never forget *grin* It was such a BLAST, we all came back way past 5AM… Here’s the whole story told in photos. Man, I think we must have taken a few hundred that night!

It all started with the stretch limousine… Nats closed her eyes and completely trusted the girls to lead her to the area where I stood waiting with Jag, our well-dressed driver for the evening… and practically shrieked with delight when she saw the luxury car shining before her eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression because she looked like she was just about to pinch herself. With that, she clambered in along with Zann, Mabes, Spanky and yours truly.

CHEERS!!! It was such luxury because it was only the 5 of us in this awesome stretch limo which seats 12! The music playing was fantastic, along with the plush interiors and lights… and not forgetting the bar! The Queenies toasted their congrats to me as well, for my "MAGIC BABE" 2 full-page article on The New Paper, which AsiaOne has also picked up! Check out this article on the sexiest woman in magic …yours truly, Singapore’s only professional female magician!

Yes, yes… there’s a DIVA in all of us and we were so doing the SEX AND THE CITY thing! *wink* The windows of our stretch limo are tinted so while on the move, we could see people constantly gawking at us as they drove by us on the roads. It was quite cute because you could see them mouth ‘WOW’ as they pressed their faces to their windows. We definitely turned many heads during our ride!


We also unabashedly stopped traffic (literally) as Nat requested us to stop the stretch limo somewhere in town and snap some pictures. People around were oogling, not just at the 5 hotties that are us, but our stretch limo as well. LOL! Anyway, an hour flew by fast and the next thing we knew, we were getting off at Clarke Quay and a whole horde of people were probably wondering who the heck were we. Mobilephones suddenly came out and people started snapping photos!

Next up… THE ARENA!!!

My poster for my MEGA ESCAPE: THE IMPALEMENT CAGE was featured on the LED screen when we arrived and I guess being the star of their show ULTIMATE MAGIC (which is also endorsed by the Singapore Tourism Board, since it’s our country’s first permanent illusion show) certainly has its perks at The Arena *grin* The dashing director of the club personally came out to get us and escorted the Queenies to the pre-arranged VIP area, which was really awesome! Once there, we promptly presented the bride-to-be with her beautiful, sparkling tiara… the night has yet to begin!

We received complimentary vodka and mixes (cranberry, orange, etc!) from the fabulous folks at The Arena & we got excellent service! It’s N1’s very special night so I ordered a Flaming Lamborghini for the girl… which she gamely downed in seconds, as the Queenies all cheered her on!

VICTORY!!!! The woman is still standing… so since we’ve pumped some alcohol in her system, we devilishly proceeded to start the actually Hen Nite party!!! Spanky found some sexy sheer lingerie for Nats and we presented it to our tiara wearing princess, to put on for the rest of the night! Why? Because the naughty games have just begun *wink*

Being nice, we let her keep the rest of her clothes but the Flaming Lamborghini didn’t seem to have any lethal effect on the woman who was still standing (must be her French genes) so it was off to get Nats a WATERFALL because if that doesn’t make her high, nothing will!!! To be honest, it was really spectacular. The Arena bartenders were true professionals and up close, it was a gorgeous display of liquid fire!

SUCCESS!!! We finally got the woman on a high I must say, she’s a really good drinker!!! Spanky took out 3 bags full of M&Ms and scattered them on the table where the bride to be had to put her oral skills to the test *grin* Without using her hands at all, Nats had to form the words GETTING MARRIED with the slippery candy! She tried her best and we were kind on her, letting her use an abbreviation because her tongue was getting a cramp. Also, since the booze was working on her, the Queenies decided to launch into the next task.

Mabes and Zann explain the rules of the game over the loud music while I grinned knowingly at Spanky, who’s always happy to play shutterbug. Essentially, Nats has to go around the club (with us as her entourage) with that empty box to sell kisses and hugs. She had to fill the magic box with at least 50 bucks and it was no easy feat because a kiss was $5 and a hug was only $2! So away we went…

We immediately got business from the table nearest to us. Not bad really, considering we managed to get money in the box faster than we thought! However, after going around the club, we realized that local men in general were actually very SHY and because most opted for hugs, Nats was having a really hard time filling the till! That was when I had to ask my buddy Mike to help us out a little *giggle*

Poor Mike… he said he had no change for $50 so we took the blue dollar note from his wallet and didn’t give him anything back! *evil laugh* Mr Nice Guy was such a gentleman, the sweetheart didn’t want any kisses or hugs too. Lucky Nats! If not for Mike, we’d only collected a meager $19!!!

Mike poured us a round of celebratory drinks as we took a short break before we launched to the next task… We all kinda got high from the strong mixes though! That’s the thing with screwdrivers… they’re so sweet, you can never taste the vodka!

The next task for our soon-to-be-wed-Queenie was to… do some steamy dirty dancing with a total stranger! I don’t know who came up with such a naughty task but it certainly wasn’t me! We found a guy and lured him to the dance floor only because he seemed pretty decent and agreed to the dare, fully aware that it was only for good clean fun. The lucky guy even bought Nats a drink afterwards!

Next up, Nats was supposed to do some wicked bartop dancing but we relented and allowed her to dance standing on the sofa instead.

She urged us to join her so all us of kicked off our heels and jumped on the couch… just not crazy Tom Cruise style! The music from the live band was p-u-m-p-i-n-g!!!

We were finally done with the list of things she had to do & were having a good time with each others company when a couple of scary looking strange men who popped out from nowhere tried to take photos of us on their camera phones. Mabes noticed them and warned us right away to be careful of up-skirts. What disgusting creeps! Thankfully the suits (well dressed security from The Arena) bounced them away from our VIP area. But that wasn’t the worse thing…

A loser called Roy intruded into our area despite the obvious fact that he wasn’t welcomed AT ALL. He tried very hard but he wasn’t getting lucky with anyone of us. He tried to make conversation in his contrived ‘I’m a sensitive new age guy’ voice and was seriously irritating the shit out of me when he plonked his ass down beside me and tried to talk and get to know me better.

I was peeved because he didn’t get the picture (to scram) when I pretended the music was too loud and I couldn’t hear him. The man kept trying to make conversation like an oblivious douchebag! I finally acted like a stoned drunk and ignored them totally as I waited for the rest of the girls to come back from the ladies (because Nats was puking from all that drinks and dancing), but he still tried to talk in my ear. It was only when Spanky sat on my other side that I said out loud that I felt like throwing up… hoping to inspire the guy to beat it… but instead, the idiot placed his hands under my chin to cup my puke.


I wish I could really do the merlion on the sleazeball at that point seriously. The man has no clue and he was obviously thinking with the wrong head. I shoved him away and slumped towards Spanky, irritated that he wouldn’t leave us alone. It’s moments like these that I truly do not understand why my ex encouraged me to ‘go out more often’ and meet people in clubs. I’d rather spend free time properly at an art gallery, at the movies, or anywhere else really… than be subjected to such torment from disgusting weasels like Roy, who probably think himself as some sort of a ladies man.

*insert violently puking image*

The girls came back from the bathroom and Mr Sleaze got up …not to leave… he went over the other side and tried to talk to Zann, who was seated at the edge. She ignored him curtly but he was on us like white on rice. Spanky said she found his voice boring and Mabes just couldn’t stand him. Mike was the gallant knight in shining armor who saved us all at the end, when he told the guy to go away. LOL! He certainly came in the nick of time

The girls were checking out a cute guy who was hanging around the space in front of us but well, close friends know my preference… I didn’t even notice him. So it was simply hilarious when just when we were leaving, he finally started to approach us. The irony was, the guy directly stopped right in front of me (the only one who didn’t fancy him) and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out of it. After 3 beats, I raised an eyebrow and left, towing a giggling Nats (who was hilariously repeating over and over again on how he blew it) with me & the other Queenies behind.

Sorry sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with you… you’re just not my type! It’s not you, it’s me!

Good ole, reliable Luke came by to pick Nats up because he got the phone call that his wife-to-be was throwing up in the toilet after having a bit too much to drink. Mike got us some yummy fries and chicken wings prior, but we really famished so all of us drove out for a dimsum supper at a 24 hour Geylang eatery! It was fantastic because I had no idea how starved I was from all that crazy dancing and everything… Yam balls, har kaos, siew mai, chasiew baos, chee cheong fun, xiao long baos and phoenix claws never tasted yummier!!!!

I came home past 5AM and I’m sure the rest reached their beds later because I was already the one who lived closest to the supper venue! Still, we all had fun and there was a flurry of kisses and hugs before the Queenies went our separate ways back home for our much needed beauty rest. Nats was raving about how this was officially one of her most memorable nights ever. Well, it’s meant to be, baby!!!

Her big day is exactly a week from now and the Queenies are tasked to be her all important jie-meis …it’s quite surreal. We never thought Luke & Nats would tie the knot so fast since they’ve only been together for about a year but well, life’s funny that way. There are just some things that are destined and they are just sooooooooooo meant for each other! Wonder which Queenie is next. Heh heh heh…

<— Stoned but Happy Drunk!


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