Family dinner @ Crystal Jade Golden Palace at Paragon

Female magician by day, mafia boss by night…

In case you didn’t know, I belong to Singapore’s oldest triad family. My legendary great grandfather was notorious for severely inflicting great bodily harm with just two fingers. No, it wasn’t death by pressure points or anything funky like that. All he had to do was snap his fingers and his horde of guys would pulverize the hapless chap who’d offended him into a pulp. That’s all.


Dad recently decided to step down from his position as head honcho so I’m now supposed to head the family business which involves the traditional friendly monetary loan services, foreign cigarette importation business, lonely hearts socializing units in various parts of culture-rich Geylang and more.

Dad discussing an all-important multi-billion dollar deal in Columbia on his new black Nokia N95

I guess my family, like any of your typical clichéd Chinese triad family unit, always wanted a boy to head the triad business. However, recent contemporary movies have finally helped show that a smart and resourceful girl can do the job nicely. Yeah you know, the ones from Korea, Hong Kong and even Singapore…



Thanks to movies featured above like Ah Long Pte Ltd & My Wife is a Gangster series, they’re finally cool with it. Afterall, I already got my Japanese sais and katana which I use in my performances. You finally understand the history now, eh?

Oh yes… I just noticed a bit of an uncanny similarity. Mmm mmm mmm. This is so very interesting…


Since I got my promotion within the family unit, I’ll be getting my mandatory ching-chong green color dragon and phoenix tattoo from the traditional tattoo artist who works exclusively for our triad squad. He’s really old (ancient actually) because the man’s been around since my great grand father was running the place, so honestly, I hope his hands aren’t too trembly. It’d be quite a bummer if the dragon looks like scaly green squid and the phoenix resembles a furry chicken with a bad haircut. Not very cool indeed.

Oh yeah, talking about my great grand pops… did I mention his name? It may ring a bell to some of you out there. My notorious big bad boy’s name is FU LING YEW, AGAIN.

I think most of you saw this coming.


Did I hear you smack your forehead? *grin* Okaaaaay, enough of being corny. Sorreeee. But! I was really at Paragon with my family for dinner this evening, after the mad rush from work (did I tell you how much I absolutely hate the new taxi fare hike?!) where we were all hard at work, putting the finishing touches of our NFEC show preview for the council tomorrow.

While waiting for our food at the charming restaurant, my sisters were checking out my new aviator shades and this started the whole ball rolling… haha… Which had everyone in my family trying it out just for fun. You saw Dad earlier being completely sporting earlier, so now here’s the rest…

Don’t mess with Madame Lee, the Dragon Lady… she’s got absolutely no qualms beating you to death with her handbag!

My two sisters doing their thing. Everyone mistakes the youngest one to be the middle child. LOL…

Mom and I hamming it up for the camera despite the freezing air-conditioning in the fine dining restaurant… Crystal Jade Golden Palace at Paragon is a winter land!

Dinner with my family’s always a cozy affair, with all the wisecracks and jokes we always pelt each other with. Nothing’s finer than good food and great company. Heh. Can’t wait for Chinese New Year, it’d be another meet-up with the extended family then!

*ahem* …Erm, just in case there are still any confused folks out there, no, I do not belong to any triad family units, thank you. D’oh!


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