It’s been a while since I felt so thoroughly disgusted to the point that I’m still quite traumatized and I still do CRINGE (like, reeeeeeeeaaally criiiiiiiiiiiinge) at the memory of this morning’s misadventures of… *shudder*
…THE EVIL SLURPY MAN!!!!
Okay, fine. He’s not evil maybe, but he definitely is 100% PERVERTED!!! Sigh. I think it’s a sickness. Really.
We were at Chinatown this morning, running some errands before we decided to buy back lunch for the team. Mr Boss left to queue for the grub while I went to get the drinks. After that, I was minding my own business and walking over to the crowded food stall where J C was, when a guy walked past me. Now, what really irked me was that he moved in so close to me despite the wide walkway, that we almost made contact had I not moved to my right swiftly (okay fine, all that work with illusions on stage have made me more nimble somewhat *wry grin*).
But that’s not all. Besides the gross disturbance of my personal space (yes, I like my “bubble” very much, thank you) that was so rudely invaded by this stranger, I actually heard a loud and completely disgusting slurping sound from the guy.
…I was really horrified. I mean, seriously. How uncouth can anyone get?!
Sheesh!!!! I couldn’t help but shudder and me being me, I didn’t dare turn back to even glance at him. *eeps* I guess, Magic Babe would have at this point, magically unsheathed her twin Japanese sais from under her dark trenchcoat or knee-high leather boots, done a mean flourish of the sharp blades and promptly castrate this pervert on the spot. But being in a not so bad mood today, she might have let him off easy and just slice off the tip of his offending tongue and whack him hard between the eyes. *growl*
From my peripheral vision as I was walking (well, almost running) away, I saw the perv-man do a complete turn to actually blatantly stare at my back. Fighting hard not to throw up my breakfast, I hurried over to where bored Mr. Boss was, patiently waiting for his turn at the counter. I must have looked severely traumatized because once he saw my flustered face, J C cocked an eyebrow and asked me what happened.
I found my tongue after 5 seconds and sheepishly told him about the weirdo. To my horror and dismay, Mr. Boss started laughing because he said it sounded so hilarious. *slaps forehead* But, it was true what!!!
Seriously, I was in no way wearing anything trampy or revealing (okay, fine, I did wear my new Japanese under-wire bra today but it wasn’t like the “cup runneth over”, really!!) and I doubt anyone can smell my nice Calvin Klein Euphoria Blossoms perfume because of the environment (this totally rules out the whole pheromones urban legend), so what did I do exactly to deserve this pervie’s attention?! *grah* So fine, J C waved it off as a “privilege” though I’d certainly have wished someone a lot hotter and classier (like the dreamy Patrick Dempsey can?) would have checked me out instead.
Now, you would have thought that killed my mood… but noooooooooooooo…
When we were finally done with waiting for our food, J C and I had to cut through the very same long stall queue to start towards the carpark. I was just behind J C when I suddenly heard that very same offending gutturally perverted slurpy sound again, in my left ear!!!
Oh my god lor.
The perverted weirdo actually followed me! The loser made a complete u-turn back from where he was walking from and queued up behind us. Oh joy. What luck.
My eyes went wide and I took big, quick steps ahead (doing an internal scream of “Please don’t touch me!!!!” in my head), bumping hard into J C who was in front of me. J C quizzically turned around and asked earnestly with a furrowed brow, “Did you hear that?”
I dramatically rolled my eyes in despair, giving him my best wretched “QUICK GET ME OUTTA HERE” look and I saw the lightbulb go off above his head. J C’s mouth immediately went into an O and he stuttered “Oh… that was the same guy?!”
It was more of a comment than a question really. We both had a good laugh about it afterwards, as we walked back to the car. J C thinks the pervie man doesn’t even know he’s making those yucky slurpy noises but I’d honestly beg to differ. We didn’t get a very good look at him but I really wouldn’t be half surprised actually, to see the front of his shirt wet with drool. Someone should buy him a few bibs for Christmas. That is, if he has any friends who like hanging out with him.
Can you imagine watching a movie with a friend who makes funny noises when he sees a beautiful woman? Like, if you’re watching a film like Ang Lee’s critically acclaimed Lust, Caution that had several steamy scenes… it’d be so annoying!!! You’d hear…
…When the pretty female lead makes her first clothed appearance, and then subsequently when things gradually get steamy, you’d just hear a very consistent
…Till a really pissed off person shouts “OEI!!!” and promptly throws the bugger out of the cinema hall (that’s your cue to innocently pretend you’re not his friend and don’t know the guy so you can watch the rest of the movie in peace) or brave an indoor tsunami in the theatre.
Anyways, the rest of the day was pretty normal (thank goodness!) with Shawn and Will teasing me at work as usual because a new flood of show booking enquiries for Magic Babe ensued after FHM’s December issue came out. Also, someone came by the magic studio in the afternoon to have me autograph his personal copy of the magazine. We had a nice conversation though it was the first time we’ve met. He’s currently studying in ACS (what are young ACS boys doing, reading FHM?!) and was a very sweet boy.
The rest of the day was spent rehearsing for our big illusion show at Leisure Park this weekend with the team. J C’s all-original REVO-LLUSION is honestly my favorite grand illusion right now, and watching the building process of this gigantic prop was really something amazing! *grin*
Cya at the grand opening of Leisure Park mall this 1 Dec!
PS: I’m just so happy… My brand new Magic Babe 2008 Magic Promo Video has received well over 1,000 views within just 5 days! More than 10 people have also listed it as their favorite & commented on it on the Youtube page too! *grin* Thanks SO MUCH for the incredible support, everyone!!!